Dear Santa

Dear Santa, Not you, real Santa in the North Pole with the elf army and whatnot. And not you, shopping mall Santa, whom, as I just explained to my kids, is not real Santa but one of an army of lookalikes he sends to do his bidding. Like real Santa has time to go to … Continue reading Dear Santa

Dear November

Dear November, Holy hell, how are you here already? I feel like I just wrapped up my summer blog and we’re already midway through mofo decorative gourd season! No offense, but you’re kind of a creeper. One minute I’m trying to get George to wear his Darth Vader mask while trick or treating because otherwise … Continue reading Dear November

Dear TForce Van Driver

Dear TForce Van Driver, Hey! Remember me? I’m the one who honked at you after you pulled a complete dick move at the Centre St/Arborway rotary on Monday. Here’s a diagram I sketched to jog your memory. I know rotaries can be confusing, so let’s walk through what happened today. You: Entered the┬árotary without yielding … Continue reading Dear TForce Van Driver

Dear Housework

Dear Housework, It’s not you, it’s me. Obviously, you’re great. It seems like everyone I know is super into you. But I’m sorry, time is precious and something has to give and — I’ll just come right out and say it — it’s you. I know it sounds like I’m making excuses. But, Housework, think … Continue reading Dear Housework