Dear Rocky

Dear Rocky, I love you, buddy. Let’s get that out of the way. I know you’re a little frightened right now and unsure what to make of us. Matty is big and loud and male and refuses to use the universally accepted high-pitched dog-parent voice to talk to you. Hazy keeps shoving a laptop in … Continue reading Dear Rocky

Things I’ve Survived During a Long Career in Advertising

A $25K mistake in a TV “billboard,” the still frames they show while a voiceover says, “Sponsored by blah blah blah.” It was for Pampers and our tagline at the time was, “Pamper the skin they’re in.” I had trafficked out slides (yes, slides, I’m that old) that said, “Pamper the skin their in.” The … Continue reading Things I’ve Survived During a Long Career in Advertising

FAQs About Dealing With a Loved One’s Near-Fatal Bee Attack and Subsequent Triple Bypass and Mini Stroke

So your ride-or-die keeps veering towards the latter and it’s starting to get a little ridiculous. Don’t worry, I got you. I’ve compiled this handy guide to answer your burning questions. Wait…what?! It’s simple, really. In August, my husband stepped on a bee/wasp/stingy thing nest while on a hike with our two kids and dog, … Continue reading FAQs About Dealing With a Loved One’s Near-Fatal Bee Attack and Subsequent Triple Bypass and Mini Stroke

Happy (Day After) Festivus 2020! Sponsored by Vertigo

Do we even say “Happy Festivus”? I mean, “happy” doesn’t seem the right emotion for our annual* airing of grievances. So allow me to wish you a satisfied and vindictive Festivus. Without further ado, let’s begin the airing of grievances! Vertigo – Vertigo’s like getting super drunk at a total rippahhh and then trying to … Continue reading Happy (Day After) Festivus 2020! Sponsored by Vertigo

Things I’m Grateful For/Pandemic Edition – Faster and Gratefuller III

It’s (the day after) Thanksgiving, the time when we reflect on all we have to be grateful for. This is the third installment in our critically disregarded Gratitude Series. You might think I’m running out of things for which to be grateful (I do know proper grammar; I just choose not to use it), but … Continue reading Things I’m Grateful For/Pandemic Edition – Faster and Gratefuller III