Dear PWTTKATGP

Dear Parent Who Told Their Kid About the Great Pumpkin, I think it’s sweet that you told your child about the Great Pumpkin. Every family has their own holiday traditions, and I’m glad you have yours. My kids had vaguely heard about the Great Pumpkin from the Charlie Brown movie. If you recall, that Great … Continue reading Dear PWTTKATGP

Dear Cassidy

Dear Cassidy, I’ve loved you since you were a little elf baby, roaming the beaches of Hawaii in the buff, stealing my shoes and my heart. And here you are graduating from college next month like some kind of grown ass woman. How did this happen? Graduating from college is a big mofo deal, and … Continue reading Dear Cassidy

Dear Christmas

Dear Christmas, Slow your f*cking roll. I am losing my Santadamn mind over here. I have a matter of days to do the following: Get a tree. Decorate the tree. Redecorate the tree after the kids “help.” Deal with this mofo and all his too-small-for-anything boxes. 24 of them. Prepare to host Friendsgiving, which we … Continue reading Dear Christmas