Dear West Elm,
Me again. You might remember me from such letters as Dear West Elm. I’m very pleased to tell you that I have another story to share with you, and this one has a happy ending.
Once upon a time, there was a mildly cantankerous 40-something who wrote a blog with lists about stupid stuff like things she ate/wanted to eat and letters to people/things like chickpeas. (Upon reflection, she seems pretty preoccupied with food.) As you recall, one such letter was to you, and it was about a very disappointing experience she’d had with a dining (of course) table.
She was a modern day damsel in distress, and in swept Brian, her potential knight in shining West Elm customer service. He was “very sorry” and “understood her frustration.” But this is 2017, guys, and we can’t wait for some man to come in and save us. And in this, Brian did not disappoint. That is to say, he did disappoint. He offered her 40% off, which sounded pretty decent, except that she was now being bombarded by targeted West Elm ads, mockingly offering her 30%.
But all hope was not lost. It was at this stage that we meet Carol. Carol is also a West Elm customer service representative, but she and Brian are in the same league the way Tom Brady and Matt Cassel are.
Carol didn’t waste time with platitudes, although she did finish her emails with statements like, “Wishing you a beautiful day!” and “May your heart be light,” and “May your weekend be filled with laughter & happiness!” And while normally the woman wasn’t a big fan of these types of sign offs, they were so varied and so sincere, they kind of grew on her. First, Carol assured the woman that modern day West Elm tables were in fact, real wood, and not some sham wood/web of lies (my words, not hers). Then, after the surly blogger and her husband selected a 2017 model West Elm table they liked, the Emmerson Reclaimed Wood Dining Table, Carol thoughtfully informed them that they’d most likely still need to use a tablecloth with their young kids and also need to protect the reclaimed wood by treating it with wax. She even provided links to YouTube videos. And finally, Carol offered them a substantial discount (which would be tacky to mention here, but suffice it to say, suck it, Brian.)
The new table got here this week. It’s beautiful and fits right in with the honey bear salt and pepper shakers and the EVERY DAY I LOVE YOU picture.
Moments after these photos were taken, the couple threw a tablecloth over that bad boy and lived happily ever after (knock on reclaimed wood).
Guess what, West Elm? This story was also about me, and I feel so much better now. Thank you for making real wood tables now, for having the customer service cajones to admit you screwed up the old tables, and most of all, for Carol. She’s a keeper.
Wishing you a beautiful day,