Dear November, Holy hell, how are you here already? I feel like I just wrapped up my summer blog and we’re already midway through mofo decorative gourd season! No offense, but you’re kind of a creeper. One minute I’m trying to get George to wear his Darth Vader mask while trick or treating because otherwise … Continue reading Dear November
Dear Old Sandwich Half Marathon Race Director, Or, Craig. Can I call you Craig? When I signed up for the Old Sandwich Half Marathon (my first!), the rest of my running group made fun of me. Because first of all, it’s a funny name, and secondly, no one else from our group was running it. … Continue reading Dear Old Sandwich Half Marathon Race Director
Dear TForce Van Driver, Hey! Remember me? I’m the one who honked at you after you pulled a complete dick move at the Centre St/Arborway rotary on Monday. Here’s a diagram I sketched to jog your memory. I know rotaries can be confusing, so let’s walk through what happened today. You: Entered the rotary without yielding … Continue reading Dear TForce Van Driver
Dear Housework, It’s not you, it’s me. Obviously, you’re great. It seems like everyone I know is super into you. But I’m sorry, time is precious and something has to give and — I’ll just come right out and say it — it’s you. I know it sounds like I’m making excuses. But, Housework, think … Continue reading Dear Housework
Dear West Elm, Me again. You might remember me from such letters as Dear West Elm. I’m very pleased to tell you that I have another story to share with you, and this one has a happy ending. Once upon a time, there was a mildly cantankerous 40-something who wrote a blog with lists about stupid … Continue reading Dear West Elm (Part II)
Dear Trader Joe’s Mini Hold The Cone! Ice Cream cones, You know that part in Love Actually when the guy holds up the sign that says, “to me, you are perfect”? Of course you don’t, you’re a box of miniature ice cream cones. Not to rip off that guy, because frankly, I don’t find him … Continue reading Dear Trader Joe’s Mini Hold The Cone! Ice Cream Cones,
Dear 8-year old me, I don’t know how to break this to you, but things didn’t work out exactly as you planned. You didn’t end up marrying Kirk Cameron (and by the way, he’s not as cool as you think he is) and you’re not a businesswoman employed by a mysterious gentleman who is also … Continue reading Dear 8-year Old Me
Dear West Elm, I’d like to share a little story with you. Once upon a time there was a young(ish) couple with a small baby. They had just moved from the South End to Jamaica Plain and they wanted to get grown up furniture for their new house. No more IKEA for them!* So they … Continue reading Dear West Elm
Dear Joanne Chang, This is probably pretty obvious by now, but you are clearly a better person than I am. First of all, I bet you would’ve promptly written a thank you note to someone who had taken time away from running their very successful business to meet with you if the roles were reversed … Continue reading Dear Joanne Chang
Dear People of Whole Foods, Stop. Stop driving like a-holes. It’s a parking lot, not that Canobie Lake Park ride where you drive the little cars with the metal rail in the middle so you can’t veer off track. We don’t have the metal rails, fools! Stop taking up the entire (tiny) vegetable section while … Continue reading Dear People of Whole Foods
Letters & Lists 