After social-distancing for the last seven weeks with the same three people (and one dog), I’m starting to get a feel for the different types of quarantine personas.
Take this simple quiz to find out which O’Rourke is your quarantine style twin!
1. My quarantine fashion can best be described as:
a. athleisure, same as normal life
c. cute tops and sweatpants, with the occasional fascinator for Zoom calls
d. shorts, even when it’s 34º out, and the same t-shirt for days on end
2. My shopping during quarantine consists of:
a. asking if we can go to Dunkin, but other than that, I don’t shop.
b. scamming my way into an occasional Amazon purchase.
c. stealth online shopping on “essentials” like rainbow huarache sandals.
d. weekly grocery shopping for my family like a goddamn hero.
3. My Zoom game can best be described as:
a. lacking etiquette. I like to talk a lot, rarely mute myself, and one time forced a friend to watch HISHE dubs Star Wars videos until he dropped off the call. I didn’t notice.
b. adept. I know all the features and can navigate them with ease, including the most advanced one: dressing up your dog and getting her on camera.
c. strong, at least in terms of having the right background for any occasion.
d. surreptitious. I once took a selfie of myself and used it as my Zoom background so I could sneak out of the meeting.
4. During my “free time” during quarantine, you’ll find me:
a. shanking someone while playing Jailbreak (just kidding, I’m not at that level yet), eating shredded cheddar cheese
b. watching “Dude Perfect” on my laptop, baking stuff
c. doing jigsaw puzzles, self-medicating with box wine
d. going on a run, compulsively cleaning
5. Here’s what you’ll find in my Netflix/Hulu/Disney + history:
a. The Clone Wars, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, Lego Masters, the first five Marvel movies
b. KC Undercover, Lego Masters, the first five Marvel movies
c. Little Fires Everywhere, Luther, BlackAF, the first five Marvel movies
d. Luther, music and sports documentaries, the first five Marvel movies
6. Over the last seven weeks, I’ve eaten:
a. approximately 17 lbs of shredded cheddar cheese, dozens of quesadillas, nachos, 75 bananas, and one million clementines.
b. my weight in ramen noodles and pancakes, plus all the yummy stuff I bake.
c. ALL THE THINGS, but especially nachos, english muffin pizzas, and assorted homemade baked goods.
d. Hmm…I’m sure I ate something, but I’m one of those annoying people who “forgets” to eat sometimes.
7. My attitude towards work/school is:
a. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I SAID I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS! *slams computer shut*
b. I’ll get this sh*% knocked out by 12 and then do my own thing.
c. I’m considering asking a friend to design a “Serenity Now!” tattoo.
d. I’ve got my job-job down pat, but my other job of keeping this family safe and sane is more challenging.
8. The best part of quarantine is:
a. Not having to go to actual school.
b. Being with my family all day every day.
c. The food. I mean, being with my family all day every day.
d. The social isolating
9. The worst part of the quarantine is:
a. Still having to do work.
b. Still having to do work.
c. trying to do work and homeschool at the same time.
d. dealing with the mood swings of these jamooks.
10. My general Coronavirus mindset is:
a. I have my ups and downs, and by that I mean I’m either having the time of my life or doing my best Susan Lucci impression hysterically sobbing.
b. I don’t think this is actually half bad.
c. Pretty sure this train is headed off the rails. Cue Ozzy Osborne’s “Ay Ay Ay!”
d. How is this different from normal life outside of having to wear a mask?
If you scored mostly A’s, you’re a George!
You’re feeling slightly overwhelmed at the amount of work being thrown at you, but taking comfort in the seemingly endless cheese supply at home. You can be draining on the people around you at times, but you’re also a beloved reminder that life is meant to be enjoyed and that it’s always a good time for nachos.
If you scored mostly B’s, you’re a Hazel!
You’re taking this quarantine thing in stride. Your positive attitude and diligence will help you through this. Your officemates appreciate you more than you know. Also, thanks for all the baked goods.
If you scored mostly C’s, you’re a Natasha!
Congratulations! You’re the coolest person in your home office! Just kidding. (Or am I?) Remember not to be too hard on yourself for eating, drinking, or crying too much, because, well just because. You’re doing the best you can!
If you scored mostly D’s, you’re a Matty!
Your calm, cool attitude has not gone unnoticed. You are a rock for your family and just know that they are very, very grateful for you.
If none of these sound like you, maybe you’re a Rosie?
You’re goddamn cute and just happy to be here with everyone. I love you.
Post your quiz results in the comments and/or share on FB. I want to see how many Natashas there are out there.