Guys, I’m really into the Olympics, specifically snowboarding, which is ironic since I’ve snowboarded approximately three times in my life, and during one of those times I got a killer black eye from a punch from the mountain. But seeing alleged human beings fly into the air and rotate their bodies in gravity-defying fashion is so jaw-droppingly amazing that I wish I could go back in time and take my snowboarding training seriously and have my dad drive six hours at the crack of dawn to take me to my lessons. My friend Julie recently asked on Facebook which everyday event you could earn an Olympic gold medal in. I chose clutter, but I think I have a potential to get on the podium in several categories, including:
- Procrastinating
- Marching It Out (freestyle dance)
- Words with Friends
That’s right, “sexpot.” - Jigsaw Puzzles, 1000-piece
- Making Friends with Strangers/Intentional
- Making Friends with Strangers/Unintentional
- Parking Garage Car Scraping
We interrupt this post with a break to mock our non-sponsors, Kay.
Back to the everyday Olympics. I could also medal in:
- Dog appreciation
- Nacho Enthusiasm
- Plant Murdering
Hang in there, Drogon. Don’t let the Bad Grammar Jar freak you out with its unnecessary…Punctuation! - Facebook photo captioning
- Foot Placement (Women’s Personal, Mouth)
- Leaving one unwashed dish in the sink.
- Moisturizing
- Horn tooting
How about you? What’s your gold medal event?
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