What I Did On My Winter Vacation

When’s the last time you had a week totally to yourself?

Last Monday, I was supposed to start my new job. But due to a slight snafu on my background check (not drug related, Facebook/real life friends, Mom & Dad), my start date got delayed a week. After momentarily freaking out (Me: “Do you think they’ll un-hire me?” Supportive husband: “I don’t know.”), I decided to embrace my week of freedom and make all my dreams come true. Finally, I would achieve my lifelong recent goals of having a clean home, finishing rewatching Grey’s Anatomy Seasons 1-12, and making my triumphant return to Home Sense in Shopper’s World.

Monday

It’s always hard to leap right into full-on self-indulgence. It’s like when I get so excited about taking a nap that I can’t sleep. I was so paralyzed by all the things I could possibly do that I didn’t do much on Monday, to be honest. But I did manage to do some chillaxing.

• I made some progress on Project Watch All The Old Grey’s Anatomy Episodes on Netflix.
• Did a bunch of laundry, went grocery shopping, oh my god, when am I getting to the fun stuff? It’s hard to step out of the world of obligation, guys.
• Then I felt some mom-guilt about having a whole week of freedom and pretending that I’m not a mother of two, so I picked the kids up early from school and let them cash in their “free slushie” handmade coupons that I made them during the Santa debacle.

  

• We also went to the library, where they had a book on hold for me and I found another one that looked good, so now I have three books out of the library, which is about as relaxing as being in a professional bath-taking contest. I’m halfway through Lincoln in the Bardo (it’s growing on me), and looking forward to speed-reading When Breath Becomes Air and then Edward and Lucy.
• Then the kids said they were going to work on their science projects while I made dinner and this happened:

  

Tuesday

Time to leap into full-on self-indulgence.

• Went to the MFA to see the Murakami exhibit. Highly recommend. My favorite part was that Murakami and an art professor had a “battle royale” in which the professor would challenge the artist to paint certain things. The red dragon painting’s full name is Dragon in Clouds – Red Mutation: The version I painted myself in annoyance after Professor Tsuji told me, ‘Why don’t you paint something yourself for once?’ How great is that?
  

  

  

  

  
• Got lost a bunch of times and my friend Gary rescued me. “I’m at the cloud!”
  

  

  
• Then I enjoyed some self-debate over whether these are art. I’m pretty sure I could make a decent reproduction of that black Rothko.
  

  
• Speaking of questionable art, I also saw this gem, which reminded me of something…

  

• Saw “I, Tonya” by myself in the dine-in theatre in Framingham. I had a big glass of wine and a big burger and it was awesome.

  

• Then I went to Home Sense, which is HomeGoods on steroids, and took my time looking at whatever the F I wanted to.
• I bought myself a sweatshirt that says “Saturday” on it at TJ Maxx and then I wore it on Thursday, because I’m a badass and rules don’t apply to me. Also got a notebook that says, “Fries before Guys,” because, obviously.
• I went to Barnes & Noble to return the Harry Potter book my mom got Hazy for Christmas and exposed myself as a muggle loser by telling the children’s book expert that it was the wrong book, that we wanted the eighth book, only to have her correct me that there is no eighth book, only this weirdo play-based-on-the-story thing, so I exchanged it for a book of wands. #libruslamus (Also, sorry, Mom, you were right.)

Wednesday 

• Continued Project WATOGAEON.

  

• Took a long walk with my best buddy.

  

• Finished a puzzle I’d been working on, usually during Project WATOGAEON.

  

• Returned stuff at the post office. I know this isn’t a big deal for people, but “return bag” can live on my to-do list for upwards of 3 months, easy. I also sent in George’s t-shirts and mine for our t-shirt quilts with Project Repat.
• Got my eyebrows done at my hair salon. The esthetician told me my skin was in really good shape and asked me what I used. Shout out to my friend Lesley, my Rodan & Fields hook up, who gives me the goods without ever harassing me. (BTW, in January, blog readers get their Preferred Customer enrollment fee waived. Just kidding, she offers that to everyone, but she’s especially happy to offer it to Letters, Lists readers.)

Thursday

• Attempted to clean up the house a little bit, got discouraged/distracted by making The Dip.
• Had lunch at Miracle of Science with my old partner Ariel, and her adorable son, Dax. (Dax mainly took phone calls with his broker and crashed matchbox cars, but he was still an above-average date.)
  

  
• Read some of Lincoln at the Bardo in my new adjustable bed, then got tired and took a nap in my new adjustable bed. Highly recommend.
• Returned stuff at UPS. (See above re: “return bag.”)

Friday

• Almost finished Project WATOGAEON. I’m on Episode 293 of 294!

  

• Finished this box of chocolates that our neighbor, Suman, gave us. (All except the white chocolate ones because those aren’t chocolate.) Some of them look like bonbons, and I feel really indulgent watching TV while eating bonbons.

  

• Had lunch with my old work wife, Carissa, and our friends Sid and Kim. And by lunch, I mean a bottomless glass of rosé.

  

  And special bonus: I got to use my new unicorn umbrella.

• Went to get a pedi at my favorite place near my old job, My Mani/Pedi (best place, worst name) and passed out fell asleep mid-pedi, much to the amusement of the ladies there. Then I got a quick massage, “You can go back to sleep,” said my lady, Tam. Good one, Tam. Don’t mind if I do.

I think the fact that I didn’t finish anything expect a box of chocolates and a puzzle all week is testament to how “E-Z” (to quote a college stalker of mine) I took it last week. Thank you, universe, for this gift. I’m glad I squandered it.