Tag: Christmas

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Dear Christmas

Dear Christmas, Slow your f*cking roll. I am losing my Santadamn mind over here. I have a matter of days to do the following: Get a tree. Decorate the tree. Redecorate the tree after the kids “help.” Deal with this mofo and all his too-small-for-anything boxes. 24 of them. Prepare to host Friendsgiving, which we … Continue reading Dear Christmas

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Dear Santa

Dear Santa, Not you, real Santa in the North Pole with the elf army and whatnot. And not you, shopping mall Santa, whom, as I just explained to my kids, is not real Santa but one of an army of lookalikes he sends to do his bidding. Like real Santa has time to go to … Continue reading Dear Santa