A $25K mistake in a TV “billboard,” the still frames they show while a voiceover says, “Sponsored by blah blah blah.” It was for Pampers and our tagline at the time was, “Pamper the skin they’re in.” I had trafficked out slides (yes, slides, I’m that old) that said, “Pamper the skin their in.” The … Continue reading Things I’ve Survived During a Long Career in Advertising
A good friend of mine recently shared a post from Jane Fonda with the “sage advice” she’d received from her friends. Now, Jane’s friends had perfectly decent advice like “Fake it ’til you make it,” but I was sure that my friends could top them, so I threw out the challenge on Facebook. And hoo … Continue reading Sage Advice from Not Jane Fonda
Remember the book (and subsequent movie), “I Don’t Know How She Does It”? The “it” we just couldn’t comprehend her doing was having a job and children, and not even during a pandemic btw. Guys, a lot of people have a job and children and guess what? She is me and I know how exactly … Continue reading I Don’t Know How They Do It
So your ride-or-die keeps veering towards the latter and it’s starting to get a little ridiculous. Don’t worry, I got you. I’ve compiled this handy guide to answer your burning questions. Wait…what?! It’s simple, really. In August, my husband stepped on a bee/wasp/stingy thing nest while on a hike with our two kids and dog, … Continue reading FAQs About Dealing With a Loved One’s Near-Fatal Bee Attack and Subsequent Triple Bypass and Mini Stroke
Do we even say “Happy Festivus”? I mean, “happy” doesn’t seem the right emotion for our annual* airing of grievances. So allow me to wish you a satisfied and vindictive Festivus. Without further ado, let’s begin the airing of grievances! Vertigo – Vertigo’s like getting super drunk at a total rippahhh and then trying to … Continue reading Happy (Day After) Festivus 2020! Sponsored by Vertigo
It’s (the day after) Thanksgiving, the time when we reflect on all we have to be grateful for. This is the third installment in our critically disregarded Gratitude Series. You might think I’m running out of things for which to be grateful (I do know proper grammar; I just choose not to use it), but … Continue reading Things I’m Grateful For/Pandemic Edition – Faster and Gratefuller III
(A guest post from the Bert & Duke blog.) Hey guys, guess who just turned 9? If you guessed George, G$ or Duke, you’re correct. If you were like, what? Weren’t you just a baby like a minute ago? You’re also correct. What’s it like turning 9 during a pandemic? Let’s just say when my … Continue reading George on Turning 9: “More Challenges, More Questions, Funner”
Dear Friends, This will be a less funny Letters & Lists post, kind of like “a very special episode” of Diff’rent Strokes but with less (possibly no) Mr. Drummond. We took this photo the night before Matty went in for heart surgery. Matty hates that I feel the need to chronicle our entire life in … Continue reading A Completely Un-Reluctant Thank You Note to Friends
Dear Bees, Originally, this was gonna be a “Suck it, you can’t have him” letter in which I rub it in your face that despite your best attempts, you did not steal my husband from me. You and your little Matriarchal society (respect) drones may have attacked him with your butt swords (I don’t know … Continue reading A Reluctant Thank You Note to Bees
Normally, the Back to School routine is pretty basic: 1) Fail to get official school supply list so wing it with endless supply of pencils that they will never use, Lysol wipes and tissues. It’s 2020 and our kids use computers for everything, but somehow they always convince me that they need 75 pencils with … Continue reading It’s Back to (Home)school Time!
Letters & Lists 