Dear Rocky

Dear Rocky, I love you, buddy. Let’s get that out of the way. I know you’re a little frightened right now and unsure what to make of us. Matty is big and loud and male and refuses to use the universally accepted high-pitched dog-parent voice to talk to you. Hazy keeps shoving a laptop in … Continue reading Dear Rocky

Things I’ve Survived During a Long Career in Advertising

A $25K mistake in a TV “billboard,” the still frames they show while a voiceover says, “Sponsored by blah blah blah.” It was for Pampers and our tagline at the time was, “Pamper the skin they’re in.” I had trafficked out slides (yes, slides, I’m that old) that said, “Pamper the skin their in.” The … Continue reading Things I’ve Survived During a Long Career in Advertising

FAQs About Dealing With a Loved One’s Near-Fatal Bee Attack and Subsequent Triple Bypass and Mini Stroke

So your ride-or-die keeps veering towards the latter and it’s starting to get a little ridiculous. Don’t worry, I got you. I’ve compiled this handy guide to answer your burning questions. Wait…what?! It’s simple, really. In August, my husband stepped on a bee/wasp/stingy thing nest while on a hike with our two kids and dog, … Continue reading FAQs About Dealing With a Loved One’s Near-Fatal Bee Attack and Subsequent Triple Bypass and Mini Stroke

Happy (Day After) Festivus 2020! Sponsored by Vertigo

Do we even say “Happy Festivus”? I mean, “happy” doesn’t seem the right emotion for our annual* airing of grievances. So allow me to wish you a satisfied and vindictive Festivus. Without further ado, let’s begin the airing of grievances! Vertigo – Vertigo’s like getting super drunk at a total rippahhh and then trying to … Continue reading Happy (Day After) Festivus 2020! Sponsored by Vertigo