What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Well, it’s been about two months since we spent two weeks in Casco, Maine, at a resort called Point Sebago (pronounced Seh-BAY-go by the general public and Seh-BAH-go by Sir George O’Rourke), and since it’s now more like Back to School time, it only seems fitting that I would finally get around to finishing my summer vacation post. Never let it be said that I am timely! So without further ado (and I’m not sure how much further ado one could pull off), here’s what I did on my summer vacation:

Rolled around like the coolest kids at the country club in our golf cart.

Joined the Point Sebago Jogging Club, in which if you run their 2k course every day for five days straight, you get an “I won it!” t-shirt, which normal people think of as a fun novelty, and my family thinks of as a must-have badge of honor that we will kill, die, or run 1.2 miles for. We thought the latter would be the easiest way to get one.

Played Name That tune.

Day drank during Name That Tune.

Lost Name That Tune. (Unrelated to the day drinking)

Played Bingo.

Lost at Bingo.

Took our kids on a $10 Dollar Tree shopping spree so they could replicate the prizes we did not win at Bingo. You’d think they just won Supermarket Sweep they were so excited.

Spent the rest of the trip telling them that every time they mentioned the words “Dollar Tree,” I’d add one more month that they couldn’t go to another Dollar Tree.

Listened to my kids beg to go to “Buck Bush.”

Participated in a “stein holding contest”.

Came in 9th out of 10 at the stein holding contest. (It would’ve been 10th if Hazy hadn’t said, “Don’t bring shame to our family by coming in last.)

Went thrift shopping and regular shopping. Crushed it.

Got my fill of lobster, including the most glorious lobster roll that the heavens shined upon.

Played a 5-hour game of Monopoly with my kids. Matty refuses to play with us, whom he refers to as “you people,” because he says we’re ludicrously competitive can’t handle the competition.

Introduced the kids to Parcheesi, the royal game of India. Showed no mercy.

Made the extremely regrettable decision to treat this inflatable obstacle course as a competition against my family and a father-son duo. We did one-on-one match ups which involved balancing on precarious paths, running and jumping across slippery surfaces, jumping across flimsy inflatable bars, and hauling your own body weight up an inflatable cliff. Between the preliminaries, the finals, and the rematches, I did this course at least 3 times.

Please believe me when I tell you that this middle aged mom-bod is not up for time trials against lithe teens and pre-teens.

Spent approximately $8,000 at the arcade to win this 50¢ inflatable alien we named Marty. Introduced Marty to life in Maine. He (mostly) likes it.

Went to 18+ karaoke night. Straddled a chair, crawled across a table toward Matty while I sang “Take On Me.” Watched Matty do his old classic, Wanted Dead or Alive. Did a duet of Total Eclipse of the Heart (Old School/Dan Band version) with Matty, dropping F bombs left and right. Got karaoke-propositioned by Suzanne and her husband, who said we were “the only cool people here,” and then made us sing a quartet of “That’s What Friends are For” with them. Pretty sure Suzanne tried to kiss me during “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” on the dance floor. We *just* became friends, Suze, I’m not quite “somebody who loves you” or frankly, even somebody feeling the (high-octave) heat with you yet.

Locked our keys in the rental house, tried to break in dining room window while Rocky and Rosie eagerly, and ineffectively, tried to help from inside.

Marveled at how gorgeous my kids are and how much I love them.

Got mocked by these same gorgeous angels, I forget what for.

Spent one week delightful without my dogs (i.e. not worrying about Rosie peeing all over the rental house) and one wonderful week with them (basking in their unconditional love and inability to make an L-sign with their paws).

Enjoyed some much needed beach (and water slide) time.

Remembered what it’s all about:

lobster

day drinking

getting an I Won It t-shirt

family