Dear New Job

Dear New Job,

I know it’s only been two weeks, so I don’t want to seem forward, but I think I kinda like you.

I definitely like the people here – the one that walks to South Station with me in record time, the ones that taught me how to raid the super-secret app developer’s snack pantry (insider’s tip: don’t make eye contact), the ones that took me to Legal Test Kitchen and encouraged my ordering of rosé. And of course, my boss who got me this mug as a “welcome gift.”

This guy’s pretty cool too, and always up for a sort of awkward pen-handed high-five.

I even like the people in the surrounding area. (I’m looking at you, LTK waiter who secured me the secret off-menu warm buttered lobster roll.)

I like that my cube doesn’t have a sign that says, “Old Natasha’s office” because that’s just insulting. (Sorry, Kate.)

I like the snacks in the super-secret app developer’s snack pantry. Look out, app developers, I found the chocolate-covered almonds today. So get ready for me to be all up in your business (sans eye contact, naturally). Also, I’ve been waiting for three years to be reunited with this tea, so thanks for that, New Job.

One last thing. I don’t want to scare you off with criticism, New Job, but we have one pretty big issue. Somehow, when I interviewed, I internalized that the women’s bathroom is on the right. It is not. It is decidedly on the left. So now, it’s an accomplishment every single time I successfully walk into the fancy business lady’s restroom instead of the men’s. Maybe that’s just your way of giving me a win 4-5 times a day.

So keep up the good work (no pun intended), New Job. If we were on the Bachelor and I were the Bachelor (which would be weird, but let’s go with it), I’d totally give you the First Impression Rose.

Yours,

Natasha