Who wronged you as a child? What happened that made your insides turn to chalk? Why are you so much more palatable in hummus form?
Based on a recent google search I did for “chickpeas are gross” to see if there’s a whole underground swelling of chickpea haters (sorry, chickpeas), I stumbled upon this article. If at worst you taste like “old person” and at best, “beanish”, what reason do you have to exist?
Sorry for all the questions. Also, feel free to pass this along to garbanzo beans if you’re not the right one to ask.
Steadfastly not yours,